Forgive you Father, for you have sinned

Tampa-
So this poor woman gets a call from her husband, an upstanding pastor of the Seventh Day Adventist Church of Reform. He tells her that he has been kidnapped, but not to panic- he is negotiating his release with his captors.
Of course she gets freaked out, and calls the police. He dutifully continues to sneak text messages to his wife, letting her know he is okay. The cops use his cell phone to track down his location... and find him shacked up with his mistress.

He faked the whole thing so his wife wouldn't find out he was cheating on her. He is now being charged with filing a fake police report. Apparently pretending to be kidnapped because you want to get laid isn't legal. Amen to that.