Monroe-
The boys in blue received a call that a young male wearing a bikini was trespassing at a car dealership. Details from the police report: John Hudson was wearing women's lingerie and fish net stockings. He stated that he was masturbating, and has a fetish. A used pink dildo, lotion, women's clothing, and porn mags were found nearby. Hixson Auto Plex is pressing charges.
I would not want to be Mr. or Mrs. Hudson right now.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
It's the cops. Quick, get rid of the keg!
Cassel-
Young, reckless, and driving around with a keg in their car. During a routine traffic stop for tail lights, these boys decided to run from the cops. How to hide the evidence? Let's just toss the beer. The police will never notice the whole keg going out the window, right? Wrong, after three miles, and speeds up to 120 MPH, the four delinquents were charged with everything from eluding to drunk driving and underage drinking. Oh, and reckless endangerment for boosting the keg out of a speeding vehicle.
Young, reckless, and driving around with a keg in their car. During a routine traffic stop for tail lights, these boys decided to run from the cops. How to hide the evidence? Let's just toss the beer. The police will never notice the whole keg going out the window, right? Wrong, after three miles, and speeds up to 120 MPH, the four delinquents were charged with everything from eluding to drunk driving and underage drinking. Oh, and reckless endangerment for boosting the keg out of a speeding vehicle.
Third time totalled
Halifax-
It starts when a red SUV slams into the back of a car at a light, causing that car to hit another. Then the SUV flees the scene and hits another car a few blocks away. This car is also smashed into the back of another car. Then the SUV clips the side of a building, and crashes head-on into yet another car. The driver then gets out and manages to run away without getting caught.
So, six crunched cars (including the red SUV) and one building with minor damages. You better believe the boys in blue are in hot pursuit of their leads in this case.
It starts when a red SUV slams into the back of a car at a light, causing that car to hit another. Then the SUV flees the scene and hits another car a few blocks away. This car is also smashed into the back of another car. Then the SUV clips the side of a building, and crashes head-on into yet another car. The driver then gets out and manages to run away without getting caught.
So, six crunched cars (including the red SUV) and one building with minor damages. You better believe the boys in blue are in hot pursuit of their leads in this case.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Doing donuts leads to doing time
New Jersey-
The boys in blue received a report that someone was having too much fun in a parking lot. When they showed up, they found that he was in a stolen car, and quickly arrested him. Now John Mezzatesta is behind bars, and will only be spinning around in his cell.
The boys in blue received a report that someone was having too much fun in a parking lot. When they showed up, they found that he was in a stolen car, and quickly arrested him. Now John Mezzatesta is behind bars, and will only be spinning around in his cell.
Facebook Felonies
Sheffield-
If you live in a country where having guns is illegal, you probably shouldn't post pictures of yourself sporting one on the internet... Especially if you are a gang member and wanted by the local police. I guess nobody told that to the boys who recently got nabbed and had their Facebook photos used against them to put them away.
If you live in a country where having guns is illegal, you probably shouldn't post pictures of yourself sporting one on the internet... Especially if you are a gang member and wanted by the local police. I guess nobody told that to the boys who recently got nabbed and had their Facebook photos used against them to put them away.
Running scared or scared stupid?
Carson City-
Speeding around when you have an outstanding warrant isn't a good idea. Neither is jumping from a moving vehicle to flee on foot. After deciding to run from the cops, Shawn Sulli hopped a fence to make a quick getaway, and landed in the yard of the Sheriff of Carson City. Since Ken spends his off time listening to his police scanner, he was right there waiting to catch this clueless crook on the way down.
Speeding around when you have an outstanding warrant isn't a good idea. Neither is jumping from a moving vehicle to flee on foot. After deciding to run from the cops, Shawn Sulli hopped a fence to make a quick getaway, and landed in the yard of the Sheriff of Carson City. Since Ken spends his off time listening to his police scanner, he was right there waiting to catch this clueless crook on the way down.
Mug shot courtesy of the local law enforcement
Thursday, September 3, 2009
SUII? (Sleeping Under the Influence?)
Madison-
So a person spots a man lying face down on the grass and calls 911, afraid the guy is dead or something. Nearby, a police office is inspecting a car parked on the side of the road. The cop comes and finds Devin R. McQuade really drunk and sleeping it off. He then arrests him, charges him with drunk driving, and careless driving.
I would think public intoxication would be acceptable, but when did the boys in blue get to start giving DUIIs for being passed out on the grass in the park?
So a person spots a man lying face down on the grass and calls 911, afraid the guy is dead or something. Nearby, a police office is inspecting a car parked on the side of the road. The cop comes and finds Devin R. McQuade really drunk and sleeping it off. He then arrests him, charges him with drunk driving, and careless driving.
I would think public intoxication would be acceptable, but when did the boys in blue get to start giving DUIIs for being passed out on the grass in the park?
Making an Example... of himself
Reno-
Instead of counseling teenagers on drug abuse, David John Miele decided to show them how it was done. After stealing the company van and hooking up with a hooker, he over-dosed on meth and heroin. A big round of applause to this guy
for setting such a bad example for the Teen Challenge International, his Christian-based ex-employer. Mug shot from the local police.
for setting such a bad example for the Teen Challenge International, his Christian-based ex-employer. Mug shot from the local police.Running drugs (and red lights)
South Philadelphia-
Deciding to run a red light was the latest in a series of bad moves by Mark Smith. Another was stashing 5 kilos of heroin in his trunk. Cops pulled him over for the traffic infraction, and found the drugs after a search of his vehicle.
Deciding to run a red light was the latest in a series of bad moves by Mark Smith. Another was stashing 5 kilos of heroin in his trunk. Cops pulled him over for the traffic infraction, and found the drugs after a search of his vehicle.
The overbearing wife defense?
Ephrata-
A man charged with robbing a bank is claiming to have only done it so he could go to jail and leave his wife. Anthony Miller has finally got his divorce, but at the cost of spending 3-5 in a federal pen.
A man charged with robbing a bank is claiming to have only done it so he could go to jail and leave his wife. Anthony Miller has finally got his divorce, but at the cost of spending 3-5 in a federal pen.
Key-less Krooks
Bear,
While robbing the Artisans Bank, three gunmen left the keys to their escape car inside the bank. The quick-thinking tellers had locked the door, and the thieves were forced to leave their ride at the scene. They were smart enough to have a back-up driver standing by, but that didn't stop them from getting caught. The boys in blue are currently throwing the book at them for everything they can think of.
While robbing the Artisans Bank, three gunmen left the keys to their escape car inside the bank. The quick-thinking tellers had locked the door, and the thieves were forced to leave their ride at the scene. They were smart enough to have a back-up driver standing by, but that didn't stop them from getting caught. The boys in blue are currently throwing the book at them for everything they can think of.
Drug Fueled
Frederick-
A man attempted to get a clerk to accept marijuana in exchange for his gas. The attendant refused, and then called the cops. They found more drugs in his car, and now this clueless crook is behind bars. Mug shot of James T. Hart from the local police.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Show Me The Cuffs?
Fort Lauderdale-
Police set up "Operation Show Me The Money" to trap crooks. Using a fake stimulus fund, the boys in blue sent out letters to people with outstanding warrants informing them that they had some money coming. When they showed up for the dough, they got handcuffed instead.
Did someone get a promotion for coming up with this one?
Police set up "Operation Show Me The Money" to trap crooks. Using a fake stimulus fund, the boys in blue sent out letters to people with outstanding warrants informing them that they had some money coming. When they showed up for the dough, they got handcuffed instead.
Did someone get a promotion for coming up with this one?
Short Circuts
East Peoria-
A woman came outside to see a man inside her car attempting to hot wire it. After she confronted him, he fled the scene, only to turn up at the police station later trying to get a bus ticket out of town. In his duffel bags were the clothes he was wearing, screwdrivers, and Hot Wiring For Dummies instructions.
Sounds like this guy needs to hot wire his brain.
A woman came outside to see a man inside her car attempting to hot wire it. After she confronted him, he fled the scene, only to turn up at the police station later trying to get a bus ticket out of town. In his duffel bags were the clothes he was wearing, screwdrivers, and Hot Wiring For Dummies instructions.
Sounds like this guy needs to hot wire his brain.
Monday, August 31, 2009
How many hoes in the family?
Cocoa-
The press came swarming when news was leaked of two underage girls working at a local strip club. Hoping to get the goods on the incident, instead they came face-to-face with the girls' grandmother, who was anything but happy to see the cameras. Answering the door with a hoe in hand, Granny let loose, waving it wildly and even managing to smack a camera.
Although a police report has been filed, no charges are pending at this time. See the NBC video with all the funny commentary here: http://www.nbc11news.com/11today/headlines/55756272.html
The press came swarming when news was leaked of two underage girls working at a local strip club. Hoping to get the goods on the incident, instead they came face-to-face with the girls' grandmother, who was anything but happy to see the cameras. Answering the door with a hoe in hand, Granny let loose, waving it wildly and even managing to smack a camera.
Although a police report has been filed, no charges are pending at this time. See the NBC video with all the funny commentary here: http://www.nbc11news.com/11today/headlines/55756272.html
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Forgive you Father, for you have sinned
Tampa-
So this poor woman gets a call from her husband, an upstanding pastor of the Seventh Day Adventist Church of Reform. He tells her that he has been kidnapped, but not to panic- he is negotiating his release with his captors.
Of course she gets freaked out, and calls the police. He dutifully continues to sneak text messages to his wife, letting her know he is okay. The cops use his cell phone to track down his location... and find him shacked up with his mistress.
He faked the whole thing so his wife wouldn't find out he was cheating on her. He is now being charged with filing a fake police report. Apparently pretending to be kidnapped because you want to get laid isn't legal. Amen to that.
So this poor woman gets a call from her husband, an upstanding pastor of the Seventh Day Adventist Church of Reform. He tells her that he has been kidnapped, but not to panic- he is negotiating his release with his captors.
Of course she gets freaked out, and calls the police. He dutifully continues to sneak text messages to his wife, letting her know he is okay. The cops use his cell phone to track down his location... and find him shacked up with his mistress.
He faked the whole thing so his wife wouldn't find out he was cheating on her. He is now being charged with filing a fake police report. Apparently pretending to be kidnapped because you want to get laid isn't legal. Amen to that.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Funny Flashbacks-
Dearborn Heights-
Remember the scandal from 2006 about the cop who confiscated marijuana from a crook, and then went home and made brownies? He then called 911 and told them that he and his wife were "dying". He wanted help because he believed that he was overdosing... on 1/4 ounce of pot. Listen to the unbelievable call: http://www.centralmediaserver.com/WXYZ/wxyz-dearbornheights911-potbrownie.wav
Another great story was about the cop who was busted on a security video stealing donuts. He used his baton to reach through the bars on the bakery and hook donuts out of the window display. Go see this great video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iucpzzf9I_I
Remember the scandal from 2006 about the cop who confiscated marijuana from a crook, and then went home and made brownies? He then called 911 and told them that he and his wife were "dying". He wanted help because he believed that he was overdosing... on 1/4 ounce of pot. Listen to the unbelievable call: http://www.centralmediaserver.com/WXYZ/wxyz-dearbornheights911-potbrownie.wav
Another great story was about the cop who was busted on a security video stealing donuts. He used his baton to reach through the bars on the bakery and hook donuts out of the window display. Go see this great video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iucpzzf9I_I
Cat Crime?
Shorewood-
A lady went to her daughter's house and fed her cat while she was out of town. Now her daughter is attempting to get her charged with a crime. What, illegal feeding of a feline?
A lady went to her daughter's house and fed her cat while she was out of town. Now her daughter is attempting to get her charged with a crime. What, illegal feeding of a feline?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Moving Mayhem
Brooklyn-
A man was exiting his apartment when his landlord asked for help moving a heavy appliance. The man demanded $20 for his assistance, and then threatened to kill him when his landlord refused. He was arrested and charged with robbery, menacing and weapon possession (a knife).
I wonder if it ever crossed his mind it wasn't a good idea to rob the person he rented his place from.
A man was exiting his apartment when his landlord asked for help moving a heavy appliance. The man demanded $20 for his assistance, and then threatened to kill him when his landlord refused. He was arrested and charged with robbery, menacing and weapon possession (a knife).
I wonder if it ever crossed his mind it wasn't a good idea to rob the person he rented his place from.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Foot Fetish- Assault in Whole Foods
Cambridge-
A woman was accosted by a man in the grocery store who asked to take a picture of her high heels... and then kissed and LICKED her foot. He is now wanted for assault.
A woman was accosted by a man in the grocery store who asked to take a picture of her high heels... and then kissed and LICKED her foot. He is now wanted for assault.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Neighbors threaten to shoot speeders
Durham-
A group of angry citizens has posted signs warning people zooming by that they will be shot... with paint balls.
Do they know this is illegal if they actually do it?
Do they know this is illegal if they actually do it?Taser sets man on Fire
Lancaster-
A homeless man was caught huffing aerosol, and the officers tried to take his can. When he resisted, they let loose with their latest toy- a newer model taser gun. The suspect then went up in flames (but only for a few seconds).
What would you look like after being set on fire, and then hauled to jail?
A homeless man was caught huffing aerosol, and the officers tried to take his can. When he resisted, they let loose with their latest toy- a newer model taser gun. The suspect then went up in flames (but only for a few seconds).
What would you look like after being set on fire, and then hauled to jail?
Drunk Dialing
Jacksonville-
A man who had a few too many got mad because his family had hid all the alcohol from him. So he called 911. And then got arrested for misusing the emergency number.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Maffia pot growers smoke their garden
Santa Barbara-
When a camp stove sparked a blaze in the forest, 88, 650 acres of forest burned. Unfortunately for the campers, their illegal garden containing 30,000 marijuana plants was then discovered by the cops. Sounds like the Cartel is going to be putting out a hit on whatever poor guy left his dinner unattended.
When a camp stove sparked a blaze in the forest, 88, 650 acres of forest burned. Unfortunately for the campers, their illegal garden containing 30,000 marijuana plants was then discovered by the cops. Sounds like the Cartel is going to be putting out a hit on whatever poor guy left his dinner unattended.
Evading police... in a wheel chair
Bielefeld-
Police slowed next to a man on a moterized wheel chair to see how he was doing. He had had a few drinks that day, and decided to make a break for it. An officer tried to run him down on foot, fell down, and was laughed at by his fellow boys in blue. This was not the suspect's first offense, though, so they went to his house and hauled him down to the station for a sobriety test anyway.
Police slowed next to a man on a moterized wheel chair to see how he was doing. He had had a few drinks that day, and decided to make a break for it. An officer tried to run him down on foot, fell down, and was laughed at by his fellow boys in blue. This was not the suspect's first offense, though, so they went to his house and hauled him down to the station for a sobriety test anyway.
Jail Ride
Unalaska-
A man didn't like how much the fare was for his taxi ride. When he got mad and refused to pay the meter amount, the taxi driver drove him to the police station.
A man didn't like how much the fare was for his taxi ride. When he got mad and refused to pay the meter amount, the taxi driver drove him to the police station.
Bad Bar Blunder
Janesville-
Saturday night: the perfect time to rob a downtown bar? That is what an 18 year old thought. Unfortunately, a state-wide police union was holding a golf tournament. The bar was full of off-duty cops, and the bandana over his face only got him a quick trip to jail.
Saturday night: the perfect time to rob a downtown bar? That is what an 18 year old thought. Unfortunately, a state-wide police union was holding a golf tournament. The bar was full of off-duty cops, and the bandana over his face only got him a quick trip to jail.
Aspiring killer wants advice... from cops
Sonora-
A man went to the Sheriff's office to get information on how to legally kill someone. Apparently he decided that if they could get away with it, they must be the people to ask. Maybe he should have asked a recruiter.
A man went to the Sheriff's office to get information on how to legally kill someone. Apparently he decided that if they could get away with it, they must be the people to ask. Maybe he should have asked a recruiter.
Wacky Withdrawal
Anchorage-
A man went into his bank, gave his id and account number to the teller, and then robbed the place. This wonder kid is getting federal charges.
A man went into his bank, gave his id and account number to the teller, and then robbed the place. This wonder kid is getting federal charges.
Plastered with Pizza
Gainesville-
A man was arrested after hitting his daughter with a slice of pizza. He was charged with a third degree felony (child abuse without great harm).
A man was arrested after hitting his daughter with a slice of pizza. He was charged with a third degree felony (child abuse without great harm).
Fast Stop Foolishness
New Brunswick:
A man decided to rob a convenience store. He got prepared and traveled to the location. Then he buzzed the clerk to let him in. Apparently, the person working there decided against letting in someone wearing a mask and carrying a gun. Realising his mistake, the fellow fled the scene.
A man decided to rob a convenience store. He got prepared and traveled to the location. Then he buzzed the clerk to let him in. Apparently, the person working there decided against letting in someone wearing a mask and carrying a gun. Realising his mistake, the fellow fled the scene.
Steal the wallet, then sell it back?
In Manhattan:
A guy from out of town meets two girls from out of town in a Times Square bar. After spending most of Saturday night together, he wakes up to find his passport and credit cards gone. Bad luck for him, right?
It gets better. The women then call him, and say they will sell his stuff back to him for $2,000. He agrees to meet with them at the same bar, but obviously isn't paying, as he then tries to grab their loot. One of them stomps on the gas, smashing into parked cars, and managing to get arrested in the process.
A guy from out of town meets two girls from out of town in a Times Square bar. After spending most of Saturday night together, he wakes up to find his passport and credit cards gone. Bad luck for him, right?
It gets better. The women then call him, and say they will sell his stuff back to him for $2,000. He agrees to meet with them at the same bar, but obviously isn't paying, as he then tries to grab their loot. One of them stomps on the gas, smashing into parked cars, and managing to get arrested in the process.
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